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Are you one of the millions of women who is constantly searching for "the" diet? You know, the one where you can lose weight fast and miraculously keep it off? Or, maybe you just drastically cut out all the sugar and carbs to lose weight. That's what I do.

The trouble is, once I start eating those foods again, I gain the weight right back. And I've been doing that most of my life. It seems I only know how to eat to lose weight or gain weight. There is no in between for me for any significant period of time. It's nothing, or it's everything. If you're like me, at some point you realize that this just isn't working. It's not sustainable.

So, what do we do? It's definitely a luxury problem to have so much food available to us. But navigating 40 aisles of food in the grocery store is difficult when you struggle with your weight. And we are constantly bombarded with differing ideas about the ideal diet —eat carbs! No, eat fat? Or eat meat? It's all confusing and just downright hard to know what to eat, let alone how much. Fad diets seem like they offer the answer because they tell us what to eat. But, again, that's not a long-term solution.

At some point, I think we all hope to be done with all this yo-yo-ing with weight. We realize that dieting is not the answer, and what we need is to change our lifestyle in order to lose weight and keep it off once and for all. So here are 20 things to do to help change your lifestyle and your relationship with food for good.